A few weeks ago I had a chance to listen to an interview with Brian McCarthy on the Grit Podcast. Brian appears to be a different type of leader, when compared to the typical vice president of sales. What struck me most during the interview, is that Brian regularly uses the words “I love you” with his team (51:08). My first thought is that these words in the workplace are a little crazy and definitely unconventional. My second thought was what does he mean when he says those words in a corporate environment?
In American society I believe that, in many cases, we have a cheap version of what love means. It is not uncommon to hear someone say I love that car, I love that woman (physically) or I love you man on the sports field or in a bar.
Greater love has no one than this, that someone lays down his life for his friends.
Brian’s definition of love is that, “I desire what is good for you.” Brian believes that he does not need to know his team deeply to desire their good. In the podcast, he illustrated this but how we communicated to the team during the loss of their co-worker. In the midst of the success or failure at work, people are going through real life, and Brian believes a leader needs to be vulnerable and also allow people to be human. Brian believes, if you don’t allow people to be human, they are nothing more than a number. He also said that “a leader should create a culture where people can thrive which includes setting a high bar and holding the team accountable.”
Also in the interview, Brian told the story (22:00) about when he went to quit his software sales job to become a missionary in Mexico. His plan was to build houses for the less fortunate.
Brian told his VP America’s sales that we would be leaving. The VPs response was “I had no idea you were so good at building houses.” When Brian admitted that he had never built a house he said, “oh but you are really handy, right?” His final question was, “Can I ask you a question. Do you think you can build more houses with your commission check than with your hands?” I believe this question changed Brian’s life as it helped him see that for profit work can have purpose and impact many people positively.
Below are 12 ways leaders can say and demonstrate “I love you” to their team at work.
Demonstrate that you care about what is important to your team including their family, their hobbies, and their future.
Remember that leaders are there to serve the organization not to be served.
Set a high bar of success and hold people accountable for the right behaviors.
Cut people temporarily slack when personal life gets in the way of work.
Don’t tolerate (even brilliant) jerks.
Demonstrate radical candor.
Provide vision to the team (help them connect their work to their why).
Provide recognition (celebrate even small wins, especially when things are hard).
Identify and develop leaders.
Support the team when it is their time to do something different.
Be willing to leave a job when you can no longer be your authentic, best, and loving self.
Build relationships that will last even beyond this job.
How are you going to say, “I love you” to your team at work?